


Face Your Fears Don't Be Afraid

by morningcolor



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon character(s)-freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fear, Friendship/Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Non-Consensual, One Shot, Period-Typical Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25610398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morningcolor/pseuds/morningcolor
Summary: The only way to lay down your fears is by facing them. Albus teaches the new charming boy how to do it.
Relationships: Albus Dumbledore/Gellert Grindelwald
Kudos: 26





	Face Your Fears Don't Be Afraid

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language. There might be mistakes, and I apologize for them.

He slips his hand through his hair, ruffling his blonde curls. Puts down the quill on the wooden desk. And absent-mindedly, rises his stare from the parchment under his elbews. A faint smile forms on his lips, his eyebrows knotted, as he stares down back at Albus's letter.

Spidry small lines of careless handline. Albus's owl is waiting on his windowsill, demanding her flight back to Albus's window, as if waiting for Gellert to put an end to their long exchanges. Gellert wasn't about done.

He bit his bottom lip, looking down at the piece of parchment. He doesn't understand the purpose of Albus's suggestion, failing to see the point on his own.

Albus has written in his letter- that couldn't possibly wait till morning. That they should try up this little test of fears. To know the most terrifying thing to each of them, and to break it.

Masters of Death shouldn't fear anything. All fears came from death, and _you can't face death if you fear it._

Albus has been deeply invested in his plans theirs, exactly like everything Gellert hoped for, even better. Albus was the best thing that had happened to him since he set his heels in this forgotten old village. He found his equal in every sense, Brilliant, smart, passionate, talented but Albus also was different from him in many things as well, he was strategic, logical, kind, incredibly patient and brave..

And he even felt things to him that had never knocked his own door when he sees anyone else. It has only been barely a month for their blossoming friendship. But still, he can't hold breath for the fact that Albus exist on the same earth.

But this beyond, a waste of time, and barely a useful request Gellert failed to find a deeper point to this.

Albus talked about using the Boggart in his father's study. If they ever find it, since that Albus claims that he hadn't seen it in a long time.

Albus won't be bothered with Gellert's honesty. But Gellert kept on feeling that he was left behind, not really getting the long shot behind his friend's request. He is, of course, always the one who sees the future, the one who sees the turns of the events, and the person who hold the key to change it.

But Albus always had succeeded at predicting the future, and sometimes even the past. What drew Gellert more to him. When he goes back to the buried old dusty history of the Peverell family, and fill the gaps within the history that had been written incomplete. Gellert'd ask him, a bit breathy. "How did you know?'' And Albus's lips would curve into his humble smirk, eyes glints more as he captures his only audience. "We don't have much other than to only predict.''

He backed his chair and glanced through the night at Albus's purposely wide-open window. He rubbed his eyes, testing his sleepy state. Then, not finding sleep, even with the dark circles burying under his eyelids, he sighed and rose from the chair.

He disapparates.

He emerge under Albus's window and begin to climb. As his hands find the windowsill and crawls on the sides on the wood farm, his grip tights on it.

Albus beamed in pleasant suprise when he saw Gellert emerges from the nothing in the darkness of the night, under the white moonlight. He didn't use his magic to get inside the house, so he could avoid any kind of unrequited effects on Albus's sister with this kind of powerful magic.

Albus chuckled quitely as much as allowed himself to. Gellert didn't lose his smile either, grinning in his difficult position. He launched to get into the room, he managed to get his lower parts, his heel hit the floor of Albus's room, the upper part of his body was struggling a bit to push the rest in. Damn, he can't use magic, it will definitely distribute Ariana. Albus crossed his room, extending his arms to help, and trying to low down the sound of his chuckles.

Gellert felt Albus's fingers on both sides of his waist, gently, helping him to land safely on the floor of his room.

He almost lost the grip on the wooden farm to fall the opposite side in the darkness. But Albus didn't let him slide, he pulled Gellert onto him.

The force of the launch made him crash into Albus, falling on the floor. His face fall in Albus's neck.

His breath caught in his chest. Barely breathing, the touch felt dangerous, like the first taste of sweet poison. He felt Albus's muscles under the thin white sleep shirt he has been wearing to sleep. It was the closest join of their body since they meet. It felt strange to Gellert to be close to your supposed-soulmate and not try to reach even closer, to press your body to that person, until you become a one again.

It has only been a few seconds, then the poison hit it's unexpected blossom.

Strange heat burned run through him. He pushed himself up quickly and shoved Albus's grip off him, roughly. He didn't understand why his body reacted strangely against his thoughts as if the body and the mind were living in different dimensions. Or maybe he did know, but he brushed his thoughts.

He stood before Albus, who was gathering himself, not knowing what to say. Albus was his friend, closer somehow than simply a friend. He knew who Albus was, he wasn't..he definitely wouldn't have...

paralysed , not knowing how to explain his aggressiveness he was afraid that his eyes would meet with him, he closed his eyes, breathed, and opened them it again, be brave, he told himself.

When he rose his stare to where Albus was. He had walked past him to shut the window, and to reach the owl that followed Gellert.

Gellert's tough expression crumbled, what Albus's thinking of him now?. What did he saw of that? For someone who knew him on that deep level, what did he thought of that?

The owl run through the sky looking for new hunts. Gellert watched Albus return back to him. His kind smile back on his face.

'' So, I assume my little letter brought you from the comfort of your bed to me seeking answer" Albus said.

'' I could not sleep either" He was surprised with his own voice returns to him. He felt the last seconds were longer than how it actually were. A harsh cut to reality, landing on the present moment.

He felt himself give Albus a sly smile "What was about the Boggart thing, I thought this was children games."

"Maybe we need to see our fears" Albus shrugged, and said in a playful tone as he walked to his bed to set. "And figure ways to face it. We can't have our enemies to be ourselves."

Gellert only looked at him. No words worth repeating to his friend. What Albus didn't understand was that fear is always there, as long as what we fear exists, as long we sense it or see it by our eyes. No holds or words could vanish it away, only an action. A Decision to take it down. He stared distractedly as the sky through the window, fear creates action.

'' Maybe we could use it as well" He said slowly, his thumb stroked his chain. Albus's expression was unreadable. "To maybe manipulate others ...in extreme conditions. Of course." He didn't know exactly how, but that did sound useful and quite amusing in a way. The last part was meant to wipe the expression on Albus's face.

"We need to figure how, then'' Albus said, smiling again. His eyes were sleepy, tired, as Gellert's were, but he's still kept his attention on Gellert.

Albus pointed for him to set. And encourage a teapot and two cups.

Gellert never entered Albus's room in the dim of the night before, he had imagined it once. Somehow he felt inappropriate to set on anything here.

Albus yawned, leaning both his arms on his knees, more on one than the other. The first bottoms of his night-shirt were open, showing skin. When his eyes hang on it, the sweetness of the poison returned. He shifted his stare to the table next to him, feeling his cheeks heat.

Gellert walked over to his friend. "Albus, what's the thing you fear the most?" He asked in a soft, careful tone. Ariana killing him or his brother? destroying the house, exposing his sister to the wizard communities.. a child will appear in front of his friend.

He thought Albus would cringe. But he looked at him in the eye, instead, he is smirking, and there was a glint in his blue-sky eyes.

"Don't want to ruin the surprise for yourself, I assure you" Albus said with a smile encouraging a chair for Gellert to set, from the darkness of the room. "Set, please.. so I could offer you some tea.''

Gellert stayed with Albus till the rays of the sun snaked through the curtains. They talked about the Boggarts and the magic behind them.

Which had been an interesting conversation, they talked about Muggles's fears, Wizard's fears, all but theirs.

Gellert yawned studying himself before giving to sleep on Albus's desk. And said his goodbyes.

When he returned to his Aunt's house, he shared her breakfast and went to sleep.

When he woke up. He knew Albus was waiting for him. He probably was already in his Father's study, searching for the Boggart.

He went immediately to Albus's house. Aberforth opened the door to him, his expression was a pure annoyance. Gellert knew Aberforth didn't like him a bit. Not that it was new to him, but there was a force behind his stare. Like he never saw someone who looked quite like Gellert. As if he hated Gellert for his very cure.

In Drumstrang he always had been called Veela, though he was not. The rumors spread. Boys in particular called him that. His blonde-curly hair that falls at his shoulders. He always has been a natural charm. Soon he accepted that. And he's ready to be if that would serve his goals.

Boys can't be pretty, but Gellert was, a very dangerous kind of pretty. The one that Aberforth believed canceled their flaws and danger from those around them. Maybe that was the reason for Aberforth's dispised looks. He has stared in the same way at Albus's long hair and colorful dresses. Anyways, he ignored Aberforth's mummers and stepped forward toward the study. He could feel Aberfoth's squinted eyes follow him.

Though, he doesn't try to contain his smirk. Albus probably had the unpleasant talk with him to let Gellert into their father's study.

He found Albus in the dusty study. The room was printed in dusty- yellow, dark green armchairs and matched curtains that canceled sunlight. Standing behind a table beside a white-printed wooden closet. Albus was, he looked confident. Gellert watched him carefully working alone. His forehead frowns softly. Gellert didn't announce his appearance. But when Albus notice him he beamed. Gellert couldn't help but reply with a smile of his own. Albus had his adorable smiles, after all.

"There you are,'' Albus said in high spirit. "I hope you had the best sleep for the last eight hours. Our Boggart was hiding all of these years in my father's old closet."

There was a shadow trying to slip through the gap down the door of the closet. Gellert pointed at it, smirking. "Is that our little Boggart trying to escape?" He put his hands back in his pockets.

"Well," Albus frown at it. "The closet was behind that table. I couldn't risk him getting pissed." Then, turned to Gellert, smiling again. "But I think we are almost ready to start."

Gellert helped Albus moving the closet into the middle of the room.

After they were done, Gellert stopped to stare at the mirror that was placed on the closet's door, at his reflection.

"My mother gets this Boggart from the Potters," Albus explained in a calm voice. "They had many in their old house. She wanted Ariana to overcome her fear of magic."

Gellert didn't comment on it. He felt pity for Ariana, of course, he did. She was afraid of a world she belonged to. For her and those who wear their true selves, Gellert was building his revolution.

"Would you like to start?" Albus asked, his blue eyes shined with excitement.

Gellert barely could hold his stare from Albus's smile "Why me?"

Albus walked the few inches between them. Gellert took a step back. "Because you already know mine." a lock from his long hair fall on his shoulder, Albus's hair was so silky and red.

"Who said that?" Gellert looked at his best friend with an arching eyebrow. But smiled nevertheless. "I will let you have it."

"Well, then" Albus laughed a little. "You have to cast Riddikulus at it after it reveals itself, you can't cast it if you are too afraid. It's not real, remember that. Enough, go to the middle of the room."

Gellert stood in front of the old closet. Albus stood far enough from them and watched.

Gellert swallowed while the door opened to misty figure put his legs out when he squinted to see the Boggart. The figure fritter into pieces and spread through. The room turned into mist, and the air begin to taste like ache. Albus was nowhere to be found. He was imprisoned alone in the thick white mist.

He knows what's going to happen as if he was having in one of his visions . His heartbeat get louder, faster in his chest. But this fear was an old friend. So familiar with this panic's taste, he felt an old cry tore through his throat. But he breathed in.

_He should have expected this_. Muggles's revolvers were aimed at each other, an army of men was killing each other with other deadly dark weapons. Chains clacking, children cry, men scream. There were the hostages been lead to their deaths. His vision has always scared him as a child. He thought he had been used to it. But being in it was new and equally hurtful. Stop, no! Unlike his visions, he know it's not real. He didn't say anything, and the war disappeared. But the mist didn't wipe away completely.

Instead, he saw Albus walking toward him. His blue eyes glint, his thumping smile was somehow misplaced

Did he do something wrong? As Albus was getting closer, Gellert could see his beautiful confident smile, _cold._

''Albus?" He said softly, confused.

Albus closed the distance until he was inches from him. Gellert backed. But Albus glided further. His lips pressed against his, Gellert under the shock, let his mouth open. He felt lightheaded. As Albus shoved him to the wall behind, not so gently. Then, Albus's long fingers search at his trousers. He gripped Albus by the wrist, stopping it. But Albus without listening to his whines continued. He felt weak. His lips froze. Wishing his wandless magic was stronger to cast a Spell could stop this.

He heard a Riddcullus been cast. In a way, he could fall it's magic shielding him. Albus vanished with the mist and he returned to the Study. He breathlessly rested his head on the wall behind him, gripped his wand, clutching it, as his heart beat rapidly. He was scared. One of the Forbidden spells were on the top of his tongue, ready to be cast on whoever dared touching him.

And he met the beautiful blue eyes fixed at him with surprise at the other side of the room. His expression was calm. He hated that his appearance assured him.

"What the hell were you doing?" He snapped, shotting on the top of his lungs, through all his teachers said he was tempered, He never shoted on Albus before...

"Oh dear.," Albus responded calmly, his stare careful, he said it so familiarly, Gellert felt himself put down his wand, but he didn't let it off his grip.

"Are you alright? calm down Gellert" Albus's face filled with concern. Long pause heavily weighted between them. "I will never hurt you in that way."

Gellert, feeling his heart race tremendously, realized that the Albus who tried to kiss him was coming from the closet, not his friend, who had been standing there. He took it in within seconds, and stared in fear at Albus. And covered his face in his hands for a moment and glanced at Albus through his loose palms.

It was as if his body was acting on his own again, his heart wouldn't stop racing in his chest, sweating lightly on his neck, his breath shorted, as if he was in a duel with a werewolf.

"I have seen you how you became a bit strange with me." Albus said in a careful tone. "You know I didn't pick on it until yesterday..."

It was without disgust, without humiliation.

"Pick on what?" Again he didn't feel himself saying the words, but it was there in the air between them. His fists curled. He said harshly, he never shown Albus this angry side.

"I'll begin with myself," Albus said, his stare kind. "For us to be even. For me you came and changed everything. You are the person I waited for. And you said you have felt the same. I suspected you wanted me somehow I didn't know to what extent. How? And how much." Albus said.

Gellert narrowed his eyes.

"They may think it's wrong and filthy. But Gellert... it's ok. The way you feel about it. However, you do. It's ok. I'm not angry. I'm not. There are no written rules on people and desires." He sounded so careful in choosing his words. Gellert stiffened, what Albus's aiming at? Is he hinting about Gellert's confused feelings?

He saw the whole thing as a tool, that was more like a toy. To be amused on his looks, he had admires who wanted to be his, weren't they?

"Gellert...tell me if something had happened?" Albus asked, not looking at him. "Cause if someone ever hurt you I swear on my name I going to hurt them back.."

"I don't want you to" Gellert snapped. "..I want...I just want this to _stop_.."

He watched Albus's fist curl at his side. While his heart race he couldn't shake the images, it was repeating with every second Albus stopped talking. _Pretty boy Dark-haired person's flattering with him, he thinks to himself in amusement, let's see how far this could go. He makes him say so much about his family's house_ , ...Just because your look, people assume you owe them.

The images unshakeable. He's trapped. Weak. Alone. No not entirely. Albus's here, where could else he would go? And for the first time he speaks, unwittingly,and again shocking himself.

"There was this boy from..." Albus's blue eyes fill with deep concern but the expression fainted quickly. He wrapped his arms around himself, avoiding Albus's eyes. "I was... trying to get information from certain person...I played around.. and he forced me somehow...I was fifteen.. his hands...I don't know why I didn't fight back...I thought it was fine but it wasn't." He whispered, disgusted with himself. "I wasn't myself...I don't know why I let him for this few seconds.I acted roughly afterward"he shut his eyes.. '"hexed him. He couldn't get his last year completed."

Albus didn't say anything. Gellert glanced nervously at him as if Albus was his judger. "Don't you think it's unnatural to feel this way?" He said softly, in a tone he didn't recognize himself with. "Toward a boy?"

"Gellert." Albus said. "I think it's natural to feel _something this special_ about someone. I could think of tones of beautiful, intelligent witches and I'd still choose you."

"Why?" Gellert asked softly. He was shaking to know why but cursed himself for uttering it. Part of him ignored the confession Albus has alrealy bled.

"Because I love you. As a friend. You make me happy in a way that no one can. You had given me a world by just spending my day with you, talking to you." Albus said simply as if he take the words that hung in the air.

Gellert just stared at him, a bit in awe and uneasiness. Torn between small delight in his chest and amusement by the bravery his friend shown. Is this what meant to be open?

Albus who's kind, smart, gentle, unlike any person he knows. This was _his Albus_. Not the one he feared he will face once.

"Gellert... you do not have to walk your next steps in fear. You don't have to be afraid no. You aren't defined by your past or your future... You should walk proudly with your heart on your selves. You tought me not to fear Muggle.. that we will lose control over ourselves if we giving them that right.. to silence us... and how powerful to walk with courage. Because though you are walking in Viber's nest, you aren't afraid, because what's the use of that anyway."

Gellert went silent. Was this something he taught Albus? He didn't want Albus to look down his shoulder and leave in fear of the Muggles or the shadow of his sister. He didn't want Ariana to fear the world and stay hidden, wasting her life. He didn't want this power to chain his friend. He was afraid h'd fail to define that right.

"Albus" Gellert said.

"Yes?" Albus repiled.

"Do you think I could lead this revolution?" Gellert asked, and Albus's expression was one of surprise as if he never saw Gellert being this hesitant about himself. Gellert leaned slightly forward. His hand circle his ankle, hesitated.

"Yes" Albus walked slowly to Gellert, "And don't forget that you are not alone and you will never be." Albus extended a hand to him.

A spell of secrets had broke between them, the reality of Albus accepting him no matter what, has cut some type of uncertainty in Gellert. And he should be afraid, someone had broken his walls.

It wasn't because he fall, it certainly felt like he did. But he's alright because Albus was there to catch him

"I know." He stood, taking Albus's hand. And lost for words, he pulled Albus into his arms. Albus gasped a laugh that ring in Gellert's senses.


End file.
